I’m currently reading The Stupidest Angel: A Heartwarming Tale of Christmas Terror by Christopher Moore. The best parts of it are the following quotes:
132-133Skinner was worried about the Food Guy, and he was hoping that maybe the Emergency Backup Food Guy might give him one of the tasty-smelling white squirrels in the cages on the table, now that it appeared that the Food Guy was finished cooking them.This teasing was as bad as when that kid at the beach used to pretend to throw the ball, then not throw the ball. Then pretend to throw the ball, but not throw the ball. Skinner had to knock the kid down and sit on his face. Boy, had he been bad-dogged for that. Nothing hurt like being bad-dogged, but if the Food Guy kept teasing him with the white squirrels, Skinner knew he was going to have to knock him down and sit on his face, maybe even poop in his shoe.Oh, I am a bad, baddog.No, wait, the Emergency Backup Food Guy was scratching hisears.Oh, that felt good.He was fine.Doggie Xanax.Never mind.
197No one knows why, but second only to eating the brains of the living,the dead love affordable prefab furniture.